Call Me Baby
by FlynnieG
Summary: Calhoun and Vanellope talk about the new baby on the way. Calhoun/Vanellope relationship. Please review. Flames welcome, but no mean jerk stuff. Part of Dynamite Baby.


**A****/****N****: ****Title****'****s ****a ****pun ****on ****Call ****Me ****Maybe****. ****Any one ****catch ****that****, ****or ****will ****it ****remain ****a ****joke ****between ****me ****and ****my ****alter ****ego ****Steve****? ****Anywho****, ****I ****noticed ****you ****guys ****loved ****the ****Calhoun****/****Vanellope****, ****so ****here****'****s ****some ****more****. ****On ****to ****part**** 3. ****To ****infinity ****and ****beyond****!**

**Disclaimer****: ****I ****will ****own ****Wreck ****it ****Ralph ****when ****Buddha ****goes ****on ****a ****diet****. ****Anyone ****get ****that ****one****?**

Vanellope was yet again visiting Fix-it Felix Jr. to see how the new mommy was doing with a human growing inside her. It had been a month since she had been told, and Calhoun's crazy, pregnant woman faze had already kicked in. She still ate ham sandwiches like crazy, but now she prefered them with more toppings, such as potato chips, or a hamburger, extra pickles. How Felix managed to cater to her every whim, every second was a mystery to Vanellope. Especially with Calhoun's emotions on a roller coaster. One minute, she was shooting cy-bugs better than any man in her whole platoon, next she was eating away her feelings while watching soap operas in her pajamas.

Vanellope didn't even bother knocking when she got to the door, knowing that Calhoun was always there after and before hours, because Felix insisted that she stay off her feet. "Hello you two!" Vanellope shouted to Calhoun. "How you feeling?"

"Stop right there!" Calhoun said abruptly, pointing her finger at Vanellope. "I am sick of that question. Everyone who knows I'm pregnant will not stop asking me how I'm feeling, and they expect me to say something like: 'Oh, I'm a little achy, but the miracle of childbirth is all worth it!' Well, that is a filthy lie. I **am** achy and I'm nauseous, but I'm not letting this baby win my emotions over. But I am thinking about how she or he is going to make my stomach much bigger, as an added 'bonus', so I'm going to have to shoot cy-bugs with a stomach the size of your big mouth."

"Hi-yo! That was solid!" Vanellope squealed as she high-fived the sarge.

Vanellope then noticed the book lying across the sergeant's lap. "Well well," Vanellope deviously said, "what do we have here."

The book was entitled So You Think You Know Pregnancies? "So," Vanellope pestered, "you actually check out one of these books?"

Calhoun snatched the book back "I'm only reading this, because I'm preparing for the emotional ambush that comes with getting pregnant. I call it PMS getting a whole lot uglier."

Vanellope got a puzzled look on her face. "PMS? What? Oh, is that when a man and a woman love each other very much-"

Calhoun quickly interrupted Vanellope, "Nope! That's something else and is definitely **not** a topic we should be discussing, especially when you're this young. Maybe when you're older."

Vanellope butted in, "But I'm not gonna get any older!" but Calhoun continued anyway.

"PMS is a normal thing that happens to a women, roughly every other month, that makes them a bit, how should I put this? Insane."

Vanellope crossed her eyes, "Insane in the membrane!" and afterwards went into a fit of giggles.

"But when you're pregnant, PMS gets a little kick, and you turn a little more crazy." Calhoun concluded, "Thank the moderator men don't get PMS, they couldn't handle it as well as women can. Men are total drama queens."

Vanellope nodded, "I know right! Boys are so lame!" She paused, "But I think if you had a boy, he would be totally awesome! He wouldn't take 'no' for an answer, and he would be really nice to everybody, no matter how annoying, just like Felix. Hey by the way, what do you want to have, a boy or girl?"

Calhoun thought for a second, "That information is classified. I am not biased against my child"

"Oh, come on sarge! You have to be hoping for one of the two. I hope it's a girl. Then I'll have someone to hang out with, I still don't really trust any of the Sugar Rush racers after what they did to me." Vanellope said looking down at her feet.

Calhoun looked over at Vanellope. "You know sarge, those nightmares I was having, they weren't about monsters or anything, they were about that. When those racers bullied me, those were the worst times of my life. I don't want to be bullied ever again" Vanellope sighed, still focusing on her shoes.

Calhoun put a hand on Vanellope's back, "I can tell you're always gonna be there for my child, so he or she doesn't have to go through that."

Vanellope got her devious smile back, "Yea! If those racers think they can be mean to her or him, oh they got another thing coming! Now, I believe you owe me an answer! Do ya want a gal or a fella? Come on sarge! Time's a wastin!"

"Okay, okay! I guess I would like to have a girl, because then I can teach her how to not be a girly-girl and how to be tougher and how to take care of herself." Calhoun said slowly.

Vanellope smiled, "I think you having a girl is awesome. You would totally be an awesome parent and role model for her, just like you are one to me!"

Calhoun ruffled Vanellope's hair, "I would definitely be a better parent than mine were."

Vanellope lay her hand on top of Calhoun's. "You know sarge, when I told you that you would make a great mom, I wasn't just being nice. You would be the best mother in the whole universe. Any kid would be lucky to have you as their mom." Vanellope said while yawning and stretching her arms out to the sides. "And that ain't no joke."

After Vanellope had fallen asleep on Calhoun lap, Calhoun ever so gently, planted a kiss on Vanellope's forehead. "Good night kid." Calhoun whispered, "Thanks for everything."

Felix was returning home from Ralph's. He opened up the door and gently called out, "Tammy?"

He continued searching, but he just couldn't find his wife. He was just about to call her on her cell when he found her. She was asleep on their couch, with Vanellope laying across her stomach. Calhoun had her hand resting on Vanellope's head, and Vanellope had her hands wrapped around the sergeant's neck. Felix smiled and wished he had a camera. He, ever so slightly, grabbed a blanket out of a nearby closet and draped it across Vanellope and Calhoun. He kissed Calhoun's forehead and brushed the bangs off Vanellope's head. Then he felt a small grip twisting around his hand. It was an unconscious Vanellope, holding on ever so tightly.

The End

**A****/****N****: ****Little ****corny ****at ****the ****end ****but ****yea****, ****that****'****s ****part**** 3. ****Don****'****t ****forget ****to ****vote ****on ****my ****poll****, ****which ****will ****be ****up ****til ****Friday****! ****Also ****if ****you ****select ****Something ****Else****, ****PLEASE ****don****'****t ****forget ****to ****PM ****me****, ****because ****I ****want ****to ****know ****your ****idea****! ****Ideas ****are ****always ****appreciated****! ****Don****'****t ****be ****afraid****! ****Thank ****you ****so ****much ****for ****favoriting ****and ****all ****your ****positive ****reviews****! ****Until ****next ****time****! ****I****'****m ****trying ****out ****for ****my****Annie**** next ****week ****so ****I ****might ****not ****have ****as ****many ****fics ****up****. ****I****'****m ****trying ****to ****get ****Annie****, ****wish ****me ****luck****! **


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